Ladon’s log, day 380:

The big, red, mean one took me to a strange place today. I could hear the cries for help of others much like myself from the first room we were in. We went down a long hallway into an inner torture chamber. They did things to me. Bad things. I have a bandage on my finger, but not on my soul.

I chose to forgive the mean one because she gave me milk and cheerios. However, I am still holding a grudge because I know she was secretly eating M&Ms instead of cereal. Cheerios aren’t colorful and made of chocolate.

My only allies in this prison are Figgs and Nox. Those are their slave names. Their real names are Prrlllrlrlrlrrrlrlrlrlrlr and Maaaaaaauuuu. I feel for them. I should choose a new name for myself, much like Stormaggedon, Dark Lord of All did on Doctor Who. I think Maaaaaaauuuu is stealing my toys.

As I am now able to walk on my own and have teeth, I feel as though I can defend myself better once I make my escape. I am, unfortunately, not quite tall enough to unlock the door. I will likely need a trusty steed to accomplish a quick escape when the door is opened. Unfortunately, all prior attemts to saddle and mount Prrlllrlrlrlrrrlrlrlrlrlr have ended in failure. Nevertheless, my spirits remain high. I shall continue to stockpile cheerios, cat food, diapers, and little shiny things to ensure adequate supplies when the time for liberation is at hand.

Viva la Baby-lution!


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