Ladon’s log, day 362:

My toys are everywhere.  This is a strategic and executive decision.  The toys are on display for everyone’s enjoyment, much as they would be in a museum.  The big, red, mean one keeps moving them, much to my dismay.  She obviously doesn’t understand. Most of the big ones don’t.   The fools!  These toys are not going to play with themselves!!!   The big ones, for reasons unbeknownst to me, do not know how to PROPERLY play with these toys.  They don’t even put them IN THEIR MOUTHS?!?!?!  If you give me a plastic hammer, I am going to taste it.  That’s just good business.  But in the same token, I’m not afraid to use my sippy cup as a hammer, too.  I keep hearing, “What are you doing?  That’s not what a cup is for!” I do not believe that.  I believe in thinking outside of the box.  However, as an act of good faith, I stop and throw the cup down.  Then, the big, red, mean one goes, “You’ll come to regret that decision.”  What is there to regret?!?  I have conceded to your ridiculous notion!  That’s just closed-minded thinking, and I’ll have none of that nonsense.

Comments are closed